Candy and Chocolate

もう、いろいろやってみるも、特にうまく行かないので、今quarterは暇人でいよう、と思い中。
待つときはおとなしく待つことにしよう。

亡くす物と手に入れるものは年々その割合を変えていって、気が付いたらぼろぼろ物が落ちていることに気づく。
と同時に、結構いろいろ貯めてたんだと感心もする。でも、率直に言って気持ちのいいものではない。
飴を1個拾ったらチョコが3個逃げて行く感じ。

で、そんな感じを表すと、こうなる。日本語版が手元にないので英語にて。

"Yeah. He said he had the feeling things were disappearing on him. I don't know what kind of things he meant. But whatever they are, sometime they're going to go. We shift around, so things can't help but go when that happens. They don't disappear until it's time for them to disappear. Like that dress you got on. In couple of years, it won't fit you, and you might even want to go on drives with me anymore. Can't helped. As they say, just go with the flow. Don't fight it."

"I'll always like you. That has nothing to do with time."

"Makes me happy to hear that, because I want to think so too," I said.

(366, Dance Dance Dance, Haruki Murakami)

この後もなかなかよいくだりが続く。

とにもかくにも、そういうことだなあ、と思う。
必死にやった結果、そしてこれからは、それもわかって必死にやるんだろうなあというのが
個人的にかっこいいと思う。それかただのあほなのか。

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I tried sometimes, but, I could not make it. So I’m free this quarter too and will keep it. What I need to do is to wait, I think.

When I think about what I lost and get, the more I getting old, the more I lose. The ratio between those two are changing year by year. Once I realized it, I know I lost a lot. In the mean time, I am impressed by what I got a lot before. But, frankly, it makes me feel bad. For example, when I get 1 candy; I lose 3 chocolates. What a sad story. If I express this transient feeling, it is the following.

"Yeah. He said he had the feeling things were disappearing on him. I don't know what kind of things he meant. But whatever they are, sometime they're going to go. We shift around, so things can't help but go when that happens. They don't disappear until it's time for them to disappear. Like that dress you got on. In couple of years, it won't fit you, and you might even want to go on drives with me anymore. Can't helped. As they say, just go with the flow. Don't fight it."

"I'll always like you. That has nothing to do with time."

"Makes me happy to hear that, because I want to think so too," I said.
(366, Dance Dance Dance, Haruki Murakami)

The sentence continues. If interested in this, check the book.

Anyways, I am really convinced by the sentences. As a result of working hard, we understand sense of mortality; then we still keep working hard, knowing this feeling. Hmmmm, it is cool or just idiot. What do you say?

Advanced Capitalizm

気が付けば、あー気が付けば、もう last quarter。
早いっちゃ早いのだが、なんかぴゅーっとバケーションは過ぎていく感じ。

卒業後とかは、まあまだ現実逃避中。
とはいえ、何もしないのもなんなので、TOEICを受けに BerkleyまでBARTで
ガタンゴトン。読書してたら見事に乗り過ごす。
North Berkleyで降りて戻る。

まあ、いつものことです。

そして終了後折角なのでUC Berkleyを見学。
でかい。うちなんか目じゃない。そして空気が大学の空気が出ている。
そーいえば学部生だったころはこんな感じが出ていた大学に文化祭で行った。

大学は世界共通でどこも一緒だ。
国とか別に関係ない。

さて、最近話題の資本主義。
資本主義は終わったのか？だめなのか？
私はマルクスもレーニンも知らないので細かいことはわからないけど
きっとアメリカに居るからわかるのかもしれない答えは、Noだ。

ただ、使いこなせていないだけだと思う。
レベル1でロトの剣を装備してスライムを倒して喜んでたらほんとに
ハーゴン出てきてやられた、みたいな。でまだ、シドーもいるんですけど的な。
やべー、ほんもんでてきたよっていう。
だから頑張ってレベル上げをしましょうっていうのがみんながいってる構造的変化
が起きている、ってことだと思う。

うん、なんかそんな感じ。あくまで感じですけど。

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Oh, now I realized that this is my last quarter.

Is it fast? Yes it is. Time flies. My vacation is almost finished.

After graduate?? I don’t know. I escape from reality.

But I know I need to prepare for that. So I took TOEIC at Berkley . I went there by BART; then, of course, I passed my station while I read a book. After I got off at north Berkley; then return as usual.

After test, I went to UC Berkley. It is much bigger than ours. And atmosphere is such a real university. Hmm I remember this atmosphere. When I was undergrad, I went to festivals with similar atmosphere.

It is universal thing. Nation? It doesn’t matter.

Btw, lately, hot topic is capitalism. Is it end? Died?

I don’t know detail because I have no idea about Marx and Lenin. But I can say one thing maybe since I’m in USA now. The answer is No.

They just don’t know how to deal with it. That’s it.

For example, in Dragon quest, USA enjoyed beating Slimes with sword of Loto, which is the strongest sword in the game, with players’ lelve1. then suddenly, Hargon (final enemy) came. Besides, there is a real last boss Sido after Hargon. Dammmm it, they are real tough enemy.

So, let’s grow level more, which is we are saying now as economic restructuring.

Hmmm, I feel like that. of course just personal feeling.